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Darth Dave
Darth Dave was born Dal Avis on Tatooine in the Old Republic year 24,335. He was the crap house crazy owner of the Anchorhead Tusken Raiders franchise of the Coruscant Conferderation of Rugby as a result of the league's questionable off world expansion. How it All Began The galaxy's latest Sith Lord, Darth Elmer, was the first fully competent Sith Lord in quite some time. Like his former master, he decided to actively advance the Sith agenda. Elmer cleverly established a holo-newsstand outside the Jedi temple on Coruscant as a front to gather intelligence on the Jedi. As a footnote, Elmer's holo-newsstand was actually a moderate business success, and for a while, he contemplated taking the Sith legitimate. One day in the year 24,403, Elmer noticed Jedi Master Hoot Hoobleboober conspicuously scurrying away from the Jedi Temple nervously looking over his shoulders as he went. Elmer decided Hoobleboober was up to something, and tailed him. The trail lead to Tatooine. It turned out Hoobleboober was addicted to games of chance, and he traveled to Tatooine to place wagers on the podraces. The mission was a dud, but Elmer didn't want to waste all that fuel getting to the desert planet, so he decided to canvass the area for Sith talent as he had yet to take an apprentice. Elmer could sense several Force sensitive beings on the planet, but no one distanced themselves from the pack. One being was the source of almost universal hatred from the population however. Elmer knew someone who was so universally disliked would have huge Sith potential. He tracked his feelings to Dal Avis. Avis was surly, crazy and moderately Force sensitive. Despite the fact that he was much older than Elmer, the Sith Lord petitioned Avis to becomes his apprentice. Avis was partial to black clothes, and accepted. Elmer had been listening to a lot of Cheechanous and Chonganous digi-tapes lately, and named his apprentice Darth Dave for the built in comedy it would provide. The Sith Commissioner protested the latest in a long line of uninspired Sith names, but he eventually relented, and Darth Dave was born. Dave? Dave's not here, man. Darth Elmer and Darth Dave set up shop on Tatooine to begin Dave's training. Once again, the Sith Commissioner protested insisting that the galaxy's largest population center could not be without a Sith presence, and the two returned to Coruscant. It would not be the last time the Sith Commissioner intervened in Darth Dave's Sith career. Back on Coruscant, Dave's training was having mixed results. He would show occasional signs of greatness, but those flashes were followed by long periods of mediocrity and questionable decisions. He was often confused and would seemingly forget skills he had mastered just days before. Dave was also beginning to boil with rage. Every day Dave would go to Elmer's chamber to start the daily training. Every day Dave would knock on the heavy chamber door. Every day Elmer would ask "Who is it?". Every day Dave would say "Dave", and every day Elmer would say "Dave? Dave's not here, man" and then laugh uncontrollably. This continued every day for six years. Dave wasn't sure which angered him more. The fact that Elmer kept repeating the same tired joke, or the fact that he still laughed at it. For Elmer, the joke became the repetition and to him it was getting funnier and funnier. One day in 24,389, Darth Dave snapped and attacked his master after he made his joke. It should have been no contest. Elmer outclassed Dave as a Sith in almost every way. Elmer sensed the attack and could have mounted the perfect defense, but he was still laughing uncontrollably at his own joke. Almost inexplicably, Darth Dave was now the Sith Lord. How Does it all End In 24,415, Darth Dave took his lone apprentice, Darth Juurk. This would lead to a climatic event in Sith history. Darth Dave did not kill Darth Juurk and Darth Juurk did not kill Darth Dave, but Juurk would never succeed Dave as the Rule of Two required. Instead, the apprenticeship would fail. Confronted with increased incompetence and progressively diminished capabilities, the Sith Commissioner was compelled to action. He stripped Darth Dave of his Sith franchise, and for the first time in a millennium, the galaxy was without a Sith presence. This would later become known as the Sith lockout of 24,417. Trivia The name Darth Dave would one day rank number one on Holonet Guide's Worst 100 Sith Name of All Time program. Darth Tinkle was the runner up. Category:Sith Lords Category:No-Names Category:Business Owners